Monthly Archives: November 2005

ear infection

it’s time for more ibuprofen. it’s time to thank Dylan over at Pimps of Gore for his plug (I plug him in the sidebar, but a plug in the body is long overdue (speaking of plugs in the body and … Continue reading

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sentences of the day

(one) from anonymous user taysbraid on lawrence.com: “As Hanson’s new freedom through independence has exerted itself, they have been gaining more and more fans, of all ages and genders, and it’s again unfortunate and misleading to hear “those of us … Continue reading

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. . . aaaand we’re back!

And so that, dear Reader(s), is the New Zodiac by sh and bigjesus. I hope you found it enlightening and/or entertaining on some level at least. We (and when I say “we,” I really mean “I”) now return you to … Continue reading

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New Zodiac: The Mexican

10:15 p.m. – 12:14 a.m. You are highly emotional and fanatically, yet bizarrely and creatively spiritual. Things that are of this mundane world do not interest you in their original forms (or you have difficulty comprehending them), so you find … Continue reading

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New Zodiac: The Anthropomorphic Inanimate Object

8:15 p.m. – 10:14 p.m. You are a lifeless, non-human thing that has been granted the blessing of human characteristics! Where before you would have been “content” in your “unconsciousness,” you are now charged with maintaining not only consciousness, but … Continue reading

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New Zodiac: The Tenacious, Stubborn, Scrappy and Unbelievably Gorgeous Reporter

6:14 p.m. – 8:14 p.m. You are tenacious, stubborn, scrappy and unbelievably gorgeous. You have a terrible knack for getting yourself, and therefore anyone who cares for you, into unbelievable amounts of trouble. This usually happens simply because you are … Continue reading

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New Zodiac: The Calm and Thoughtful Scientist Who Always Saves the Day by Remaining Calm and Thoughtful

4:15 p.m. – 6:14 p.m. You are calm and thoughtful. You often find yourself surrounded by small children who have a tendency to freak out, and whose eyes and mouths become exceedingly, impossibly large at such times. You clean your … Continue reading

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New Zodiac: The Gibbering Horror What Must Never Be Named

2:15 p.m. – 4:14 p.m. You are a seething mass of evil, borne out of the Carven Rim and through the Windowless Solids of Five Dimensions. Your irresponsible whisperings about the Nameless Cylinder penetrate into the minds of the willful … Continue reading

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New Zodiac: The Office Chair

12:15 p.m. – 2:14 p.m. Despite the fact that an all-star team of designers (hand-picked by an all-star team of designer pickers) spent years agonizing over each and every last one of your particular particulars, and despite the fact that … Continue reading

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