rocket to nowhere

“you must choose between the things not worth mentioning and those even less so.” -samuel beckett

Archive for July, 2005

toothsome vs. casserole

Diane had to explain three times to Geoff that teeth had nothing to do with it, but Geoff could not get it into his (thick) head that a woman might possibly know something he didn’t. Diane, who viewed chauvinism as a sickness in much the same way she viewed childhood as a sickness–something to be grown out of–merely paused to breathe in through her nose and out through her mouth before embarking on a fourth, but not final, attempt at explaining how it was that yes, teeth could be part of the overall equation, but that ultimately, teeth had nothing to do with it at all. Geoff stared blankly at her breasts. His mouth was open slightly. He nodded but didn’t listen. He thought vaguely that if he agreed with her, perhaps she’d sleep with him. He looked up at her mouth and nodded a little more vigorously. He thought she had a pretty mouth, but that she had even prettier breasts, so he looked back down at them. Diane watched Geoff’s open mouth, continued to explain, and thought maybe if Geoff were to look her in the eye for more than three seconds, she might sleep with him.

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baked spinach tuna beef and noodle best ever chicken cabbage roll creamy potato mexican baked fish pork chop sausage-potato zucchini shepherd’s pie amish yumazuti baked spaghetti squash with beef and veggies bangers and mash bbq beef beef and bean beef and biscuit beef and noodle beef and pita beef bourguignon beef burger pie with cheese puff beef florentine beef nacho beefaroni bierock bierox burrito pie cabbage roll calico bean cheeseburger and fries cheeseburger and noodle cheeseburger pie cheesy beef and bean cheesy beef and rice cheesy chipped beef chile relleno chilli dog chow mein noodle cowboy skillet czech stuffed green pepper divine double cheese dutch leek easy mexican el dorado beef empty wallet french onion garlic lovers beef gluck green chilli haviland glop italian meatball sandwich jacob’s coat jeannie’s famous potato hamburger kielbasa and veggies layered eggplant hamburger marcia’s company meatball bread pudding mexican botana platter musaka oklahoma tamale overnight pilly cheesesteak potatochip putzwutz reuben saucy beef and veggie savory tater tot scrumptious beef and potato serbian ground beef, veggie and potato serbian pork and beef shearer’s mince and potato hot pot slumgullion sonny’s tater tot southwestern haystacks spanish rice bake spicy squash taco cornbread taco pie talerine tamale tater tot bake three bean throw together mexican thunderbird traditional reuben upside down pizza velveeta cheesy beef wild rice and beef yuck-a-muck yummy beef zippy beef

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help & vigilance vs. temerity & toejam

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Lake McConaughy vs. finger-banging Cindy Crawford

The picture shows a woman in three-quarters profile. The viewer mostly sees the back of her head and her hair pulled up into a small bun. It is possible, but barely, to discern a smile on her face. She is holding a book in her hands and flipping through the pages, which are blurred, but she is not looking at the book. She is looking (and smiling) at something in front of her, something the viewer cannot see. Sadly, it is not possible to change the perspective of a photograph. One cannot simply look around the corner and know at what or whom the woman is smiling. The viewer assumes she is smiling. The viewer cannot see her eyes. Maybe she is grimacing. Maybe she is baring her teeth in fear and rage. Maybe she is making a face because she does not want to be photographed and maybe this is why she has been photographed in three-quarters profile. But the viewer assumes she is smiling. The viewer assumes she is happy because the viewer wants her to be happy and smiling. The viewer assumes she is happy because the viewer himself wants to be happy. The viewer, however, is not happy. The viewer is almost never happy. The viewer is unhappy because, sadly, it is not possible to change the perspective of a photograph.

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[no comment. the image and title speak for themselves.]

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collectible porcelain vs. archimedean disambiguation

Pottery is generally made around the Chinese. Demand for unknown objects of all descriptions also includes a lead-based overcoat and today exclusively depicts scenes such as boats.

Pottery is blue and white pottery generally made around the town. After the Company began importing Chinese in the early 1600s, a demand began for locally produced imitations. For unknown reasons the industry was concentrated in the objects of all descriptions such as plates, ornaments, banks, but especially tiles. The style of pottery, which also includes metal oxide decoration and a lead-based overcoat was first painted then was introduced and today is imported. Usually produced, ware often, but not exclusively, depicts scenes such as boats.

Delftware, or Delft pottery, is blue and white pottery generally made in the Netherlands around the town of Delft. After the Dutch East India Company began importing Chinese porcelain in the early 1600s, a demand began for locally produced imitations of the porcelain. For unknown reasons the industry was concentrated in the Delft and Rotterdam area. Delftware includes pottery objects of all descriptions such as plates, ornaments, banks, but especially tiles. Delftware is part of the tin glaze style of pottery, which also includes maiolica, faïence and majolica in which tin-based white glazes is first applied, then metal oxide decoration and finally a lead-based clear glaze overcoat to make the surface glossy. Originally produced with local colored clay, the delftware was first painted white then blue decoration added. In 1884 a white clay was introduced and today all clay for Dutch delftware is imported. Usually produced in blue and white, but also in polychrome, delftware often, but not exclusively, depicts native Dutch scenes such as windmills and fishing boats.

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Archimedes became a popular figure as a result of his involvement in the defense of Syracuse against the Roman siege in the First and Second Punic Wars. He is reputed to have held the Romans at bay with war machines of his own design; to have been able to move a full-size ship complete with crew and cargo by pulling a single rope; to have discovered the principles of density and buoyancy, also known as Archimedes’ principle, while taking a bath (thereupon taking to the streets naked calling “eureka” – “I have found it!”); and to have invented the irrigation device known as Archimedes’ screw. Archimedes was killed by a Roman soldier in the sack of Syracuse during the Second Punic War, despite orders from the Roman general, Marcellus, that he was not to be harmed. The Greeks said that he was killed while drawing an equation in the sand, and told this story to contrast their high-mindedness with Roman ham-handedness; however, it should be noted that Archimedes designed the siege engines that devastated a substantial Roman invasion force, so his death may have been out of retribution.

Archimedes became a popular figure (as a result of his own design) by pulling a single rope while taking a bath (thereupon taking to the streets naked calling “eureka” – “I have found it!”); and to have invented the device known as screw. Archimedes was killed in the sack during the Second Punic War, despite orders that he was not to be drawing in the sand, and told to contrast high with ham; however, it should be noted that a substantial Roman invasion force may have been out of retribution.

Archimedes became a single rope while taking to the streets naked. Archimedes was in the sack despite orders that he was to be in the sand, and with a substantial force.

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Super Grover Underoos vs. trebuchet


Daniel said he didn’t know the wolves were dangerous. He said he thought they were just “sharper dogs.”
Marjorie spanked her dolly again and again because the dolly wouldn’t hold her pinkie finger just so while sipping tea.
Frankie told his mother he tied the bunnies to his feet so he could jump higher.
Sally refused to stop making faces at the teacher.

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Rolling down the window with one hand, and lighting a cigarette with the other, Jared completely forgot about the steering wheel for nearly 30 seconds, but still managed to retake control of his careening ‘65 Volkswagen before it flew off the edge of the Gene R. Dipschwang Memorial Bridge. Jared then stopped the car in the middle of the bridge, and while finishing his cigarette, calmly took a moment to consider the life and accomplishments of Gene R. Dipschwang, in honor of whom the bridge had been built. Stubbing the cigarette out in the ashtray, and hawking some phlegm out of the window, Jared put the car into gear, and headed back the direction he had come.

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