Ornery Ninja Elf, The: (1975-present) Spontaneously generated in 1975 when a young Japanese girl (and martial arts expert) of Irish heritage ate an entire box of radioactive Lucky Charms, the Ornery Ninja Elf has devoted her life to saving the world (although she specializes in islands) repeatedly.
In 1993, when the Emerald Isle was threatened by a giant mutant cod and a giant mutant potato (who were, inexplicably, referring to themselves as “Starchy and Husk”), the Ornery Ninja Elf developed two new magic ninja moves: Filetfry and Julienne. She used these moves to defeat Starchy and Husk, and then (unfortunately using timber from the Amazon basin) fashioned the largest sheet of newspaper ever created, which she then used to keep the Irish in Fish’n'Chips for several years.
Using her magic marshmallow powers and super skills of blarney-kwon-do, the Ornery Ninja Elf has at least twice kept giant robots from destroying Tokyo, once in 1983 (when she was eight years old) and once again in 1999. In both cases, the Land of the Rising Sun was threatened by a shape-shifting or “transforming” robot, and in both cases, the Ornery Ninja Elf used a combination of marshmallow goo and awesome rainbow awesomeness to jam the robots mid-transformation. The twisted hunks of metal formerly known as Megatron and Starscream now stand as modern sculpture in a park in Tokyo.
No one is quite sure where the Ornery Ninja Elf now lives, and she has not been seen for several years. Some say she has retired to the planet Nearer Flojinny where she practices a particularly difficult form of leprechaun meditation. Others maintain she walks among as a normal, workaday scientist who is perfecting a new world-saving procedure known as Robot Nullification And Interference.
this reminds me of the poem a guy i knew in college, nick-named the officious prick, wrote about me. he used each letter of my name as the first letter of each line fo the poem. dreamy.